SEASON 1: FIRST WINTER.
The first winter usually begins in November. It actually starts in the first snow, but Lithuanians interpret that as an autumn false alarm, so you can think of the second snowfall as the trigger.
In first winter, the sun comes out late, thinks “hmmm, should I come out toda….. NOPE” and stays behind cepelinai* sky.
It snows a lot. In November rain melts it. In January it melts just enough to freeze again.
This time you will see sidewalk ice-skating močiutes** that are better at staying up than you.
Dress code: brown, grey, black. If you wear something out of this palette, people will think you are A, heading to Užupis**** or B, a lost tourist or Erasmus student. Sometimes both.
Conversation starters at dinner table: “I hope this year we have white Christmas”
SEASON 2: SECOND WINTER.
Second winter starts in mid January, when the Christmas vibe is over and people realize they still have 4 more months of that.
The weather is just as cold as in first winter, but now it snows less and winds a lot more. I mean A LOT more. People from Klaipeda won’t notice this as they were already hiding from wind in first winter.
Dress code: it depends. People here are divided in two groups. Those that will start saying tirelessly “spring is coming” with every ray of sun and those that lost all hope. First group are still thought to be headed Užupis way. Second now add pale green, blue and yellow to their black and white diet.
Conversation starters at dinner table: “I hear in the news it will be plus 1 next week. Spring is coming, guys!”
SEASON 3: SPRING.
There you go, you sun starved craving beings! Spring arrived and now you just need to patiently wait 2 more months until it is over! Soon sun really kicks in (Kinda. We’ll get there).
Spring starts when you hear/see the first lightning/thunder and is the shortest of all seasons. Sometimes this climatic event matches Easter and mid April, but not necessarily.
It might not even rain in “first thunder day”, but it will be spring. Legends have it that if you don’t hear/see that particular thunder/lightning, your first spring nature walk will make you riddled with erkės***.
All Laisves Aleja restaurants in Kaunas put their tables and chairs outside. This sparks a shouting contest between cyclists on the near invisible bike path and pedestrians who don’t see it.
Flowers blossom everywhere, pakalnutė**** is sold by kind countryside people in the streets, people start to come out of their hibernation mode and meet friends outside and rejoice!
Dress code: Jumpers, sweatpants and snickers. Any color will do and it’s not implicit if you are going to Uzupis or not.
Conversation starters at dinner table: “They are turning off heating soon” or “check if you don’t have any erkė on you”
SEASON 4: SUMMER.
Summer begins exactly at the first wedding or graduation party you are invited to.
There are so many that you might need to take turns between three of them in the same day. Use your best clothes, it is time!
Ok, I recon. You might be wondering “what if I am not invited to any weddings? How will I know if it is summer?” and if that is your case you just need to wait until you are bit the first time by mosquitoes hordes.
If you are from southern Europe, Latin America, Africa or basically any part of the world where it is not self-implied that Christmas should be snowy, you might wonder “is it really summer?” when in July it rains and thermometer marks +16 for a week. The answer is yes! It is. You’ll get used to it.
Sun is high on cocaine right now so he will get up at 3am and get down at 11pm. It will make you feel young again and want to swim in a lake (bring a blanket.)
Dress code: all your wardrobe, from winter coats to shorts and flipflops.
Conversation starters: none needed, everyone is in a good mood.
SEASON 5: THE ELUSIVE WEEK
Well, technically, the elusive week is part of summer as it will happen either in June, July or August.
The Elusive Week is the sequence of 7 days in which temperatures will be above 30ºC and stoned-sun will shine all the time.
Now you might ask “why does it have this name?” and let me tell you: This is either the week where you booked your workation from Nida or Palanga, or the week you didn’t plan anything and is eating fried cepeliniai in a dark valgykla*****.
In other words, you either nail it and will have the time of your life, or will regret it deeply and plan a trip with a 30eur Ryanair ticket to Rimini in October where they are having their second summer (yes, seasons work differently in Italy)
SEASON 6: AUTUMN
There you go, you almost made your way through Lithuanian seasons. Just one less to tackle, and you bet it is Lithuanians’ absolute favorite: Autumn!
If Autumn comes to a party, it would be that gest to whom everyone looks and whispers “who the hell invited him here??”.
Autumn starts when you see the first brown/orange leave falling from a tree and ends with the second snow (first is normal. second to be sure). Or in case you are still in the marriage tribe, your last wedding invitation will probably be its start.
At the beginning it’s time to visit Gediminas Castle and see Vilnius from Above. The color mixture is fantastic and all tourists are gone to Croatia and Lithuanians went to Bali.
Soon, however, the whether will suck.
Sun is hangover on his cocaine overdose and will be shy. Rain will pour all the time. Lithuanians above 22 are looking for a job. Under 22 are restarting studies.
Dress code: Refer to Winter 1, but with less layers
Conversation starters at dinner table: avoid conversations at this time
Enjoy a new cycle!
*Cepelinai or didžkukuliai are potato dumplings made from grated and riced potatoes and stuffed with ground meat
**močiutės – Grandma or granny
***Erkė – A tick
****Užupis – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U%C5%BEupis
*****Valgykla – Canteen
“Cepelinai sky” – grey sky
